Lessons From Eric

Since January, I've had the distinct joy of spending 12 hours a week working with a 13 year old boy, named Eric who has autism.  I work on some specific goals that his case manager has detailed out, life skill type goals.  I was geared up for a rough go of it...biting, tantrums, extreme awkwardness, the whole she-bang.  But this kid has truly been a joy to be around and I can confidently say that he's stolen my heart.  Sure, he's awkward at times.  He doesn't make eye contact.  I have to ask the same question 5 times before he hears me sometimes.  He laughs riotously in the library.  But dang if that kid is not one of the funniest people I know.  Every time I crack my knuckles he scolds me in a very parental tone of voice, "What'd I tell you!?"  And lately it's gotten to the point where he'll just scowl dramatically with his hands on his hips.  This is our running joke now.

Through my friendship with Eric, I have seen a person whose flaws and foibles are public knowledge, more so than the average person I interact with on a daily basis.  If he's overly stimulated, excited/nervous, he shakes his head around and flaps his hands.  He loves to touch people's hands and even smell them at times.  These are odd little idiosyncrasies that he can't help but put out in the open, they comfort and soothe him.  Since knowing Eric, I've seen in myself subtle attitudes and actions that I retreat to when stressed, sad, etc.  Sure, my coping habits are more socially acceptable.  I don't pick up my friends' hands and try to smell them yet in some ways, the fact that my coping mechanisms are socially alright (ex: retreat into a t.v. show) makes them more toxic.  In those moments in which I want nothing more than to be soothed, my King Jesus is the only real refuge I have.  The more readily I can see any other fix as bogus, the healthier I am.

Another characteristic I see in Eric is that he's either all in or all out.  For someone like me who is tempted toward people pleasing and doing things just to "get by" at times, I see this as something I can learn from Eric.  He doesn't feign interest in things.  Conversely, when he enjoys something, like googling costume masks, he will share his enthusiasm with everyone in earshot.  He's been known to tap the person's shoulder next to him at the library computer in an effort to "wow" them with his latest costume mask discovery.  I love it.  I only hope that the things I love will be truly worthwhile and will ooze from every pore as they do with Eric.

I could honestly go on much longer about life lessons that this 13 year old has taught me.  I'm the one hired to work with him to help him with life skills, but there are days when I think he's helped me more.  I guess that's a sign of a healthy relationship huh?

Wake Me with Wonder

Lately I've been made aware of the cursory manner with which I've been going about life. The scenes of brokenness I see in and around me have allowed a gnawing sense of the hum-drums to seep in. I know our Creator is faithful. To the deepest fiber of my being I can see how He has given manna for each moment, I'm just longing for that feast to come. Though I've felt weary a lot lately, I'm thankful that there is a sense of wonder that is still holding on inside me. It's in me but has nothing to do with my effort.

I read this in the foreword of an old copy of The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame that I bought recently (in the "funky finds" section of my favorite bookstore I must add):

"The most priceless possession of the human race is the wonder of the world. Yet, latterly

the utmost endeavours of mankind have been directed towards the dissipation of that

wonder. Science analyses everything to its component parts, and neglects to put them

together again. Nobody, any longer, may hope to entertain an angel unawares, or to meet

Sir Lancelot in shining armour on a moonlit road. But what is the use of living in a world

devoid of wonderment? Granted that the average man may live for seventy years, it is

a fallacy to assume that his life from sixty to seventy is more important than his life from

five to fifteen. Children are not merely people: they are the only really living people that

have been left to us in an over-weary world. In my tales about children, I have tried to

show that their simple acceptance of the mood of wonderment, their readiness to welcome

a perfect miracle at any hour of the day or night, is a thing more precious than any of the

laboured acquisitions of adult mankind."

I will let that quote speak for itself and bid you a tired but hopeful goodnight.

Fix My Gaze

In a bad way, I need to be still and reflect on the character of my King. Since 2012 has started, I feel that I have been consumed with my own goings-on and have barely stuck my head above the surface to place my concerns before my capable Father. I've prayed prayers of petition, knowing He hears me, but as I'm laying on my stomach on the floor of the closet of the doghouse, I'm hearing my Father say to me, "Who am I to you? Who have I proved myself to be in your life and in the life of my people?" Passages like Exodus 14:14 are coming to me now, "The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent."

The most healthy thing I could do in this moment is to scour Scripture and reflect on the characteristics of God:

-He's a Creator and orderer (Gen. 1&2)

-He's a Covenant maker (Gen. 15)

-He's a Rescuer (Exodus)

-He's a lawgiver, because He cares about holiness and that is our good (Leviticus)

-He's a Covenant keeper (Deut.)

-He fights on behalf of His people (Joshua)

-He is most supremely patient as His people throw tantrums (1-2 Samuel)

-He's a Kinsman Redeemer (Ruth)

-He is present in all our human events: rulers, families, work, leisure, joy and sorrow (Job)

-He is artistic and the standard of beauty (Psalms, Song of Solomon)

-He is weaving an intricate plan of redemption from sin (Isaiah)

-He is the punisher of sin; it grieves Him (Jeremiah)

-He is faithful when we are anything but (Hosea)

-He is God in the flesh; He dwelt among us (Matt-John)

-He binds the broken and wounded and makes the blind see (John)

-He is crucified, buried, resurrected and ascended where He sits at the right hand of the Father

-He is the Spirit dwelling in the hearts of His people now (Acts)

-He is the founder of the Church (Acts-Epistles)

-He is coming again to bring the new Heaven and new earth (Revelation)

-He is the bridegroom of unconditional love (Revelation)

Visioning

Call it a New Year's resolution if you will, but it's time for me to be a bit more forthright in my life. I think I bypass the "why" a lot in what I do, I sort of think on my motive inwardly and move too quickly to the "how" or the "when." I'm not imposing a new law in my life but I do want to put into words a sort of vision statement for why I'm doing things, not every single decision, but the more significant ones. For starters: Why am I moving downtown in January? Yes, my Church and part-time job is down there. But I want to explicitly state my goals, hopes and vision for what the Lord has me down there to be and do. I've got to start somewhere, so here I go:

I am moving into downtown Raleigh from the suburbs of Wake Forest so that I might more effectively partner with my church family in loving the people of inner city Raleigh with the sacrificial love of our Savior, Jesus Christ. By planting my life in the midst of physical and spiritual poverty and need, I hope to more deeply walk in the life-saving love of Jesus and invite the thirsty to taste and see that He is good. I hope to pray diligently for the needs I will be surrounded by and to be a vessel of the merciful and lavish love of God through hospitality, volunteer work, and simply spending time with people in my neighborhood and nearby neighborhoods. I can only accomplish this in the power of the Holy Spirit, on whom I lean on for every word and breath.

"Of the increase of his government..."

I'm reading through Advent Scriptures this Christmas season and it has been refreshing and worshipful, to be sure. Having just returned home 4 days ago from 2 weeks in China, I'm in that raw phase of being aware of just how good I have it. I know the bullet points of China's history with communism, etc. but as I walked around Tiananmen square and saw the corpse of their revered communist leader, Chairman Mao, my mind was tempted to find comfort in my country and the fact that we have a much better system in place so as to avoid communist takeovers. As soon as I was aware of this line of thinking, the Holy Spirit gently scolded me to bring me back to the truth that NO government will be a reign of truth and peace until Christ's return to restore this earth. Just as many Chinese are unaware of the horrors that occurred on Mao's watch, so do we as Americans have massive blinders on to our sin. The Chinese saw Mao as a savior to right many wrongs and now he lies dead in a casket, his reign is over. There was a heavy somberness as we filtered through the line to see his body. It made my heart scream for the Chinese to see that their Savior is alive and pleading for them to turn to Him.

So, on Tuesday morning, the Advent Scripture was Isaiah 9:1-9 and in verse 7 it says, "Of the increase of his government and of peace there will be no end, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and righteousness from this time forth and forevermore. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will do this."

I'll let this amazing passage speak for itself and end with this strong plea, "Even so, Lord Jesus, Come!"

Currently Reading...

I'm reading this book by Dan Akst called We Have Met the Enemy. I find it really intriguing because he's writing about our society's complete excess and self-gratification: the extreme lack of self-control. From what I can tell, he's not a follower of Christ but he states this problem with keen insight. This has been a great reminder that "freedom" apart from a grounding in the Author of Life is only bondage. This author is poignant in his insights but apart from the expulsive power of a new and greater affection (Jesus!) our efforts to control, limit and whip ourselves into shape will only result in dissatisfaction. I'm not saying that no one can be disciplined without Christ. I know for a fact there are unbelievers with more self-control and discipline out there than me, but the difference is the source of the momentum. Does the striving only go as far as your own efforts or does the Holy Spirit abide with you to fuel your life? Though this book is not explicitly reminding me to do so, I am encouraged to daily invite the Holy Spirit to drive me, to graciously and boldly steer me in such a way that is fragrant to the world around me. No effort of my own can pull that off.

Not a Mindless Movie Buff

I've been reading this book, Hollywood Worldviews by Brian Godawa. It's been one of the best books I've ever read. I heartily recommend it to anyone who enjoys films and stories....so that would mean everyone. My heart has been so stirred to think about how God has revealed Himself to us through story: plot, narrative, the plight of good v. evil, etc. Stories evoke things in us that a systematic list of facts just doesn't. I truly get excited when I think on this. And what are movies if not stories? And what is story if not the medium by which God has showed Himself to man?

So, as one whose worldview has been swallowed up by the Truth that the sinless (Christ) took the punishment for the sinful (humanity), how ought I to interact with Hollywood?

This book has addressed that question in an intelligent, humble and thorough way.

"Movies are first and foremost stories. And so is the Bible. The Bible is the story of God's redemptive activity in history. It communicates doctrine and theology mostly through story. Storytelling draws us into truth by incarnating worldview through narrative." -Brian Godawa

Godawa posits two extremes that we could side with: the cultural anorexic and the cultural glutton. As a believer, I don't want to immerse myself in films that are exploitive and that revel in filth. Yet, I also know that the Bible is full of accounts of disturbing happenings and in-your-face sin. So, watching a movie is not as simple as, "Oh it's rated R. It will have sex and violence in it." Be careful to guard your mind, yes but I truly believe that our criteria needs to be a little more holistic and better thought-out than: "is it bad?" because based on that criteria, one "shouldn't" read the Bible! This main issue at hand is the dissecting of the worldview communicated, not the tools the screenwriter uses to communicate the view.

I've been challenged to approach my movie viewing in a more holistic way. Sure, I want to enjoy the world that the movie invites me into, but also discern what that movie is saying about the world at large...what are the implications of the way the story ends?

What a CREATIVE King we serve. My heart revels in this truth: He invites us into the story He has been weaving since time began.